Hats Off

I was at a concert recently, and about one row ahead of me sat Backwards Hat guy. You probably know him or have seen him around. They are everywhere, and if they're not around, their friend Too Old to Wear Hats is representing for them. Or perhaps, Wears Hats Indoors is fight for the jackass cause.

This all leads me to a discussion I've been having with anyone who will listen (mostly my inner monologue) about proper hat protocol. When are you too old to wear a hat? Why don't people take them off inside buildings? Why don't people take them off during the national anthem?

I'll start with the first question, since that discussion also includes our friend, Backwards Hat guy. Unless you're involved in a sporting event (as a participant or fan), if you've reached the age where you should have graduated from high school, hats are off limits. At that time you should ascend to adulthood, and understand that looking like a child is not a statement that you're counter culture.

As for Backwards Hat guy. Unless you're catching a ball game of some sort, and wearing a protective mask, there are really no good reasons why you should ever wear a hat backwards. Wearing a hat backwards in the ultimate statement of the allegiance you pledge to the union of jackasses.

This leads us to more constituents in the Union of Jackasses, and that's people that wear their hats indoors. I was out to dinner with my wife this weekend, at a restaurant where our bill scraped the $200 level. Not a lot, really, but then again it wasn't like there were Extreme Fajitas on the menu, or a drive through in sight. Still, there ambled in a man with a hat on. He was in his late 40s or early 50s. Far old enough to know better, but there he was.

And finally, you have the leader of this pack of jackasses; Won't Take Hat off During National Anthem Guy. Is it that hard to take your hat off for a few minutes to show some respect for those that died to allow you the freedom to be a hat wearing jackass? For some, unfortunately, it is.

This collective lack of respect, and lack of caring about anything other than yourself, demonstrated by those in hats, is indicitive of a larger problem, and not one pertaining to a lack of personal style. All that people really care about is what's going on inside, and on top, of their own heads. It's how we end up with Presidents like the one we have, and with companies like Enron. Maybe it's time we all take our hats off and think about the world around us.